#66

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Hardquestioncore

Do I ever say what I mean
Or mean what I say?
Or is everything panic-fueled obfuscation
Masquerading as rage?
Am I honest with myself?
Is my memory selective?
...did any of this even fucking happen?
Or am I simply covering up the fact
That I'm still completely dissastisfied
With who I am?



Saturday, April 25, 2015


Back a Week (in retrospect)

We awoke separately in the early afternoon
She raised a bottle with her tattooed wrist
Took the saddest pull of Irish whiskey I've ever seen
And didn't offer me any
And I don't know if I've ever been more turned on
(or more wrong)



Wednesday, April 29, 2015


fuckthis

It's back
That fucking familiar weight
Deep, deep in my guts
More than two decades old now
Throwing off my center of gravity
Until I can only sit
Then lie down
Eyelids clenched like terrified fingers
Begging the Universe for sleep

#65

Friday, April 17, 2015


In line at a gas station, energy drink in hand
To ease the second legitimate hangover I've had in months
Pressing pleasure-sore teeth marks on my shoulders
Reminders of last night
And a hope for more to come

...yeah, this is pretty great
I just hope next time I can make things conclude

-----

I awoke to her sleeping face
Smiled
And drifted off again

#64

Tuesday, April 14, 2015


Phantom Phonecall from an Italian Restaurant I've Never Been Inside

Jakeeno's rang.
They told me to get over myself.
They said, "What happened is what happened;
and while it influenced you,
it didn't define you -
because that's your job."

So I stepped out for a smoke,
then crawled into my turbulent bed;
alone and hopeful and alone
and hopeful

#63

Sunday, March 1, 2015


a wax disc revolves
crackles,  hisses, pops warmly
sings before the song

-----

i haven't smoked with
anyone but my parents
in more than a year


Monday, March 2, 2015


i can't wait to see
a hawk gliding the thermals
and smile for once

#62

Tuesday, February 24, 2015


Jesus Christ, I'm Scared

I didn't have the money for a ticket, anyway
That's part of the reason I haven't said anything
  (should've checked my bank account before I put fingertips to keyboard)
And people are a burden for me too
But... sandwiches, maybe?

Also
I hope you're okay in
Every way

#61

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Clouds Taste Metallic

i know it's not The Soft Bulletin, but
would you wanna see it live?

we could each buy a ticket

and i think it might be

pretty great

#60

Wednesday, February 4, 2015


Cromulent

to be broken by life
to heal
and be broken again
that is life
only to heal once more
and become
stronger
enstrengthened
by life
by being broken
by life
by being broken
by life
by being broken
by life