#87

a thing i wrote and two things i didn't but wish i had


[c. 01.2020 + 07.10.2020 + 07.29.2020]

hiraeth

Been thinking, "I just
want to go home," a lot
lately
Except I never leave
the house

Smash my face into a
cactus just to feel
something different
Only to find every
needle is inscribed
with the name of a
place I'll never see
again
(and may never have
truthfully known
to begin with)

---------------

"He ate with his face and spoke with it. Sometimes he hid it in his hands. That should have been enough." ~ Ben Marcus

---------------




I manage my fantasy baseball team better
than I manage my anger these days,
and I’d trade my best pitcher
for a draft-pick and picture
of the president writhing in pain.
It’s a weird thing to wish for
but I can’t stop wishing,
refreshing the browser, someday
if I live long enough
and the world doesn’t end
my wish will come true, in a way,
and he’ll die like we all die,
in pain or asleep,
and we’ll still have our fantasy baseball,
and the next fascist fucker in line for the job
of demolishing hope for us all.
So I’m putting in love now,
I’m putting in faith,
putting fear on a long-term IL.
I’m going outside,
I’m going to help organize
something better.
Something beautiful.