Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Almost one week
And the contentment has turned
Slowly but steadily
Into anxiety and fear
Day by day
I can feel the doubt and the dark thoughts
Trying to force their way forward again
Despite my best attempts
To ignore
To rationalize
To look on the bright side
(as if there is one -
because like the Sacred Chao
every bright side has a dark side as well
and vice versa)
To numb
It seems like nothing will work
So terrified that an attempted mistake
Will ruin the best part of my life
A mistake I've wanted to happen for more than three years
But now, clearly, a mistake all the same
...and a mistake I'm afraid I'd only hesitate briefly
Before making again
