12.16.2020

#91

a couple new things. also updated one of the poems in the previous post to try and clarify my intentions a bit.


[12.09.2020 & 12.16.2020]

emotional limp

my solution to a sprained ankle
is to amputate the entire limb

with no thought for how
i'll stand myself
down the road


[12.16.2020]

Fuck Walt Disney

stuck with ideas of fairytale romance
though i know she's not a princess
...even if i can't stop being a monster:
weird, gross, selfish, and self-pitying

i couldn't "save her" even if
i felt like that was something
that needed doing
(or ever did)

and here
locked in my tower
i know she doesn't owe me anything
and i wouldn't deserve it anyway
because i'm the dumb beast
holding the fucking key

(all that being said
i hope he turns out to be
her prince charming)

---------------

"i am a writer, a writer of fictions (here's one i've told myself):
'i am the heart that you call home'

and i've written pages upon pages
trying to rid those fictions (not you) from my bones"


"i have been unable to maintain any semblance of relationship on any level

i have been acutely undeserving of the ear that listen up and lip that kiss me on the temple"