#66

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Hardquestioncore

Do I ever say what I mean
Or mean what I say?
Or is everything panic-fueled obfuscation
Masquerading as rage?
Am I honest with myself?
Is my memory selective?
...did any of this even fucking happen?
Or am I simply covering up the fact
That I'm still completely dissastisfied
With who I am?



Saturday, April 25, 2015


Back a Week (in retrospect)

We awoke separately in the early afternoon
She raised a bottle with her tattooed wrist
Took the saddest pull of Irish whiskey I've ever seen
And didn't offer me any
And I don't know if I've ever been more turned on
(or more wrong)



Wednesday, April 29, 2015


fuckthis

It's back
That fucking familiar weight
Deep, deep in my guts
More than two decades old now
Throwing off my center of gravity
Until I can only sit
Then lie down
Eyelids clenched like terrified fingers
Begging the Universe for sleep

#65

Friday, April 17, 2015


In line at a gas station, energy drink in hand
To ease the second legitimate hangover I've had in months
Pressing pleasure-sore teeth marks on my shoulders
Reminders of last night
And a hope for more to come

...yeah, this is pretty great
I just hope next time I can make things conclude

-----

I awoke to her sleeping face
Smiled
And drifted off again

#64

Tuesday, April 14, 2015


Phantom Phonecall from an Italian Restaurant I've Never Been Inside

Jakeeno's rang.
They told me to get over myself.
They said, "What happened is what happened;
and while it influenced you,
it didn't define you -
because that's your job."

So I stepped out for a smoke,
then crawled into my turbulent bed;
alone and hopeful and alone
and hopeful