#116

If I was a booger

Would you blow your nose?

Would you keep it?

Would you eat it?

I'm just trying to give myself a reason

For being around

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i feel like i've written half this shit a million times already

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I'm learning how to be here and nowhere else

How to focus on what I can do myself

Leave it all to memory of what we did when we were young and

Now you could just leave me on my own

I'm not, I'm not you

You're a part of me

You're a part of me

I'm not telling you all I'm going through

I feel fine

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[10.21.2023]

caught myself thinking

"what are we even doing?"

(as in dragging along

neither getting what we want)

because i always end up

thinking of everything

in terms of "we" or "us"

when that's never been

so

what am i even doing?

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Is that you in front of me

Coming back for even more

Of exactly the same?

You must be a masochist

To love a modern leper

On his

Last

Leg

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why do you keep putting up with my shit?
do you keep hoping things will be different one day, too?

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I wish we'd never met

Then met today

You're the shit

And I'm knee-deep in it

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[10.29.2023]

i'm trying not to, but i still wonder

if you don't feel that way about me

because i do feel that way about you

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Wish I remember when we kissed but now it's faded

'Cause I always just replayed it till it left

I wanna save myself, you'rе part of my addiction

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[11.06.2023]

loneliness is such

a worthless goddamn feeling

imagine thinking

other people

are what i need

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Do you feel safe with him?
Can he give you everything?

Is he gonna work out?

Is he gonna work out?

Do you wanna hurt him?

Do you wanna kill him?

Is he gonna work out?

Is he gonna work out?

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You used to say I had what it takes

I think I did if you meant too little too late

I can tell by the looks that I'm gettin'

I made some big mistakes

And I thought you said I was great

Shoot straight and give it my best try

I made my heart as hard as nails

That may be the way you live your life

But it's almost got me killed

Darling, I'm not giving in

That happened miles ago

I heard the North Star saying:

"Kid, you're so lost even I can't bring you home"

Did you think that we were going to last?

Honey, you know you don't have to answer that

Half of that was my kind of joke

I don't remember which half

I didn't know how blue I'd get

I didn't know how I'd get blamed for it

I didn't choose to go down this road

No one chooses to be sick

I'm saying everything is fine

By the look in my eye

But you know, darling

Half of what a man says is a lie

It's your last chance to forget me now

That it's done for good

You always said I'd make it out

Somehow, darling, I knew I never would